7 weeks ago, I experienced the most painful and heart-wrenching event of my life. As a mother to five children, I had always dreamed of expanding our family and starting a new life with my husband. However, on a rainy night in March, things took a tragic turn, and I lost our little one at just seven weeks and eight days.
The night before, my body was feeling strange – a small amount of spotting and cramping had started, but I attributed it to the normal changes of early pregnancy. But within hours, I watched the life-saving measures we had taken just a few days ago swiftly diminish before my eyes.
Our little baby boy looked like a tiny shrimp, complete with fingers, toes, and even a little curl in the palm of my hand. I remember feeling a mix of peace and sadness upon seeing him. My husband and I held each other tight, our hearts full of love for the little life we had lost. We named him Riley Jae, in honor of our first son. But the pain I felt during that unforgettable night extended far beyond words.
After the miscarriage, things became overwhelming. I spent days in a daze, processing the sudden shift in reality. I was unable to focus on everyday tasks, and I found myself crying without understanding why. When friends and family members asked how I was feeling, I struggled to find the words to express the heaviness in my heart.
As time passed, the intensity of my grief gradually diminished, but the hole that had been left behind by our loss remained. In an attempt to fill that void, I started sharing photos of our precious son, alongside our stories, on the "Issue of Tissue" collection by the MYA Network. I wanted others to understand that the tissue we lost belonged to a child, not a Clump of Cells.
Ultimately, these photos helped me begin the healing process and allowed me to find meaning in our tragic loss. Whether you have experienced a miscarriage or not, I encourage you to seek out those close to you and share your pain and memories. Let others know you're not alone in this journey, and that their presence can mean the world.
