Making amends in Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) is a critical component of the Twelve Steps recovery process. It involves acknowledging past mistakes, expressing genuine remorse, and commit¬ting to changed behavior. This process is intended to repair relationships and demonstrate a commitment to a new way of life, free from the patterns of substance abuse.
The First Step: Acknowledging the Wrongdoing
The first step in creating an AA amends script is to acknowledge the wrongdoing. This step is about taking responsibility for the actions that caused harm to oneself or others. It involves specifically identifying the behaviors and actions that resulted in the injury, without excusing or justifying the behavior.
Example:
I acknowledge the harm caused by stealing from my friend John. I regret the decisions I made and the pain I caused him. I am willing to do whatever it takes to修复 this relationship.
The Second Step: Expressing Genuine Regret
Once the wrongdoing has been acknowledged, the next step is to express genuine regret. This involves showing that you have changed your attitude and arenow aligned with your intentions, as opposed to the misalignment or manipulation that occurred during active addiction.
Example:
I sincerely regret the decisions I made and the pain I caused my spouse. My actions hurt her emotionally and caused irreparable damage to our relationship. I am deeply sorry for what happened and promise to do everything in my power to make it right.
The Third Step: Committing to Changed Behavior
The third step is to commit to changed behavior. This involves making concrete changes in your life to demonstrate your dedication to a new way of living sober. This may include keeping promises, actively working on personal issues related to pastwrongdoings, and avoiding behaviors that could cause harm to yourself or others.
Example:
I commit to making amends by making regular phone calls to my children to make up for missed opportunities. I will attend all scheduled activities and events without canceling. Additionally, I will pay all outstanding financial debts to my loved ones. I am committed to making amends and will do everything in my power to修复 the relationship.
Making Amends: A Process
Making amends is not a one-time activity but an ongoing commitment throughout the recovery process. It requires careful thought and consideration as you navigate the intricacies of making restitution with a sense of responsibility and sensitivity to avoid causing further harm.
Tips for Making Amends:
- Be intentional and realistic, avoiding impulsive promises or actions that could cause more harm.
- Use a sponsor or support group to navigate the complexities of making amends and gain guidance on whether the suggested form of amends is appropriate and constructive.
- Consider the emotional impact of your actions on others and take steps to repair the relationship, even if the other person is not open to hearing from you.
- Remember that some people may not want to hear your apology or be willing to participate in the amends process, and that’s okay. It’s important to respect their boundaries and move forward with empathy and compassion.
- If you find yourself struggling to make amends or accept others’ responses as you work the Steps to stay sober, seeking support from others who have gone through this themselves, or even a therapist experienced with Alcoholics Anonymous (or Narcotics Anonymous), can be a helpful complement to relying on your own, often distorted, thinking.
By following these guidelines, you can create a personalized AA amends script that acknowledges past mistakes, expresses genuine regret, and Commit to changed behavior, leading to healing and recovery.
