Self-control is an essential skill that helps children pause, think, and make informed choices. It is a skill that can be improved through activities, games, and meaningful strategies. Whether your child is in kindergarten or fourth grade, these activities can be used to build self-control skills.
Why Self-Control is Important
Self-control is crucial for long-term success and can affect various aspects of a child's life, including school performance, mental health, and behavior. Research has shown that children who have strong self-control skills are more likely to achieve higher academically, have greater self-worth, and be better at coping with stress (Mischel et al., 1972).
Techniques for Fostering Self-Control
1. Provide a Soothing Area
Give children a special place or time to calm down and focus when they are feeling overwhelmed. This area can be their bedroom or another part of the house where they can retreat and engage in soothing activities such as journaling, drawing, and deep breathing.
2. Help Children Understand the Impact of Their Decisions
Help children recognize the impact of their actions on others by having them reflect on decisions they have made. This activity, called Ups and Downs, allows them to weigh the pros and cons of each decision and write down their best and worst choices.
3. Give Children Reasonable Choices
Give children the option to participate in decisions rather than being given hard “yes” or “no” responses. This can help them feel in control and reduce impulsive behaviors.
4. Incorporate Self-Control into Play
Teach self-control through interactive games and activities, such as Red Light/Green Light, Simon Says, and Freeze Tag. These activities can help children understand the concept of stopping and thinking before acting.
Fun Games and Exercises
1. Balloon Tap
Arrange students in a circle and assign alternating students to 2 teams. Fill the circle with balloons and call out “Team 1!” Only students on team 1 should tap the balloons. Switch to Team 2, and only students on Team 2 should tap the balloons. Continue switching on a 20-30 second interval.
2. Jenga
Move too fast, and the tower will topple. Students will have to slow down and focus on the task to play. This activity is great for practicing self-control and improving concentration.
3. Don't Break the Ice
Using too much force can cause all of the ice to break. Practice this one with students who a little extra time to learn how to be mindful of their bodies. Be patient and encourage students to be mindful of their movements.
4. Freeze Dance
No materials needed for this game. In an open space, play music. Students will dance while the music plays, and when the music stops, students will freeze. If you want to add a layer of difficulty, when students freeze, have them strike a yoga pose.
5. Red Light Green Light
This is another game that doesn't require any materials. All students stand on one side of the space. The counselor or leader stands on the other side of the space. When the counselor says, “Green light,” students may begin moving forward toward the counseling. When the counselor says, “Red light,” students must freeze. Add a level of difficulty by changing the required movements – students could hop, crab walk, or bear crawl on a green light!
6. Garage Band
For this activity, you’ll need instruments for each student. Students will take turns being the garage band leader. The leader will set the beat, and the other students will follow the beat. Students will really have to tune and listen, then activate body control to follow the beat.
7. Simon Says
I like to call this activity Counselor Says, but the rules are the same. The counselor gives an instruction like, “Touch your nose,” but students only follow the directive if the directive begins with, “Counselor says.” For example, students would not touch their noses if the counselor says, “Touch your nose,” but they would touch their noses if the counselor said, “Counselor says touch your nose.”
8. Clap Pattern
This is a fun activity for a group warm-up or closing out a session. The counselor starts a clapping pattern. All students follow the pattern, and then one student adds to the pattern. Students must follow the pattern with the new additions. See how many changes you can add to the pattern!
9. Statue
For this game, the counselor stands on one side of the room and the students stand on the other. The counselor turns their back to the students. The students begin silently moving toward the counselor. The counselor can then turn around, but when the counselor turns around, all students must freeze in a statue position and hold it until the counselor turns around again. Anyone the counselor sees moving is out of the game.
10. Mirror
Pair students up for this activity. One student will be the person and one will be the mirror. The student that is the mirror should mimic the other student’s movements, facial expressions, etc. Just as if they were a mirror. They'll really have to pay close attention and be aware of their body movements!
By incorporating self-control activities into your school counseling program, you can help children develop important strategies for managing their emotions and behaviors, leading to better academic outcomes and overall well-being.
