polyamory, a lifestyle characterized by multiple intimate relationships, often with a focus on ethical non-monogamy, or consent. The term polyamory, derived from the Greek prefix "poly-" meaning "many," and the Latin word "amor" meaning "love," was first popularized in the late 1990s within the alt.polyamory online community.
Polyamory Explained
Polyamory recognizes and values relationships that include open communication and consent among all partners. This practice can encompass various forms of romantic intimacy, including sexual, emotional, or spiritual connections. Polyamorists may or may not live together, share finances, or share a physical space, but they typically share a deep emotional bond and commitment to one another.
Terminology Within Polyamory
The term polyamory itself is often abbreviated to "poly" or "polyam," which serves as a form of self-description. Some polyamorists avoid using "primary" and "secondary" descriptors, arguing that all partners should be considered equally important. Instead, they might emphasize a 'pod' or 'metamour' model, where relationships are defined by their level of involvement and commitment without the rigidity of traditional hierarchies.
Polyamory Glossary
- Ace: A term used to describe someone with very low or no interest in sexual or romantic relationships (also known as 'aro').
- Agender: A person who identifies as neither male nor female, or falls under the gender identity umbrella term 'transgender'.
- Anchor Partner: A partner who is viewed as a central figure in an individual's life, a 'stone' or 'rock' to lean on, often utilized in non-hierarchical relationships as a substitute for a primary partner.
- Aromantic: Having low or nonexistent romantic interest or imperative, often subcategorized into 'aro' in polyamory.
- Asexual: Having low or nonexistent sexual interest or imperative, also subcategorized into 'ace' in polyamory.
- Barriers: Physical impediments to the exchange of sexual fluids, often referring to condoms, but also including dental dams and gloves for manual stimulation.
- Bisexual: Having sexual attraction to both one's own gender and other genders.
- Chosen Family: Individuals who choose to connect as family outside of blood family due to shared values and emotional support.
- Cisgender: A person who identifies as their birth gender, derived from a Latin root meaning 'near side'.
- Closed Polycule/Polyfidelitous Relationship: A group of people who have chosen not to expand their social circles and typically only interact with people within their existing relationship network.
- Comet: A long-distance relationship where partners rarely meet but are connected enough to maintain a欢喜的关系 occasionally and be less closely involved in between, similar to a彗星经过地球附近时被短暂见到。
- Compersion: Enjoyment at another person's joy in a relationship, or the opposite of jealousy.
- Consensual Non-Monogamy: Any relationship structure in which all partners are aware of and consent to some form of non-monogamy / non-exclusive relationship, which may be sexual, emotional, or both.
- Cowboy/Cowgirl: The gendered terms used to describe someone who acts polyamorously but then seeks monogamy by removing their partner from the polycule. Also known as 'roping one off from the herd'.
- DADT: An abbreviation for 'Don't Ask, Don't Tell,' used to refer to the relationship structure.
- Demiromantic: Identifying as aromantic, meaning only experiencing romantic attraction with people they already have an emotional connection to.
- Demisexual: Identifying as asexual, meaning only experiencing sexual attraction with people they already have an emotional connection to.
- Don't Ask, Don't Tell Relationships: A relationship where a couple chooses to allow each other to see other people but does not want information on their metamours or what their partner does with them. Sometimes there is a clause included for basic sexual risk/safety information to be shared. The most extreme form of parallel polyamory.
- Dyad: A relationship of two people, often monogamous or involving any two people in a polyamorous network. It can be thought of as the most basic relationship unit and can be monogamous, polyamorous, or polyfidelitous according to its structure.
- LDR: An abbreviation for 'Long Distance Relationship,' where partners are physically distant from one another. Such a relationship might be considered long distance for someone with limited transportation options but not everyone would consider it a long-distance relationship.
- Limerence: A state of mind resulting from romantic attraction to another person, often involving obsessive thoughts and fantasies and a desire to maintain or form a relationship with the object of love.
- Long Term Relationship: A relationship of extended duration, often abbreviated as LTR. It is different from 'primary' or 'secondary' relationships, which typically involve more specific time commitments or roles within the relationship.
- LTR: The abbreviation for 'Long Term Relationship,' often abbreviated as LTR.
- Meta: A shortened form of metaphor, meaning 'beyond love,' often used in discussions of metaphysical, literary, or philosophical themes, which may also be applicable in relationship contexts.
- New Relationship Energy (NRE): excitement and giddiness that comes with a new relationship, particularly at its early stages, sometimes described as the 'excitement and discovery that occurs during this time as opposed to old relationship energy.'
- One True Way Polyamorist: Someone who believes there is only one right way to be polyamorous, often based on their own moral judgments, although there are many believed to be many ways to be poly.
- Open Marriage: A marriage where spouses are allowed to have romantic relationships and/or sex with others outside the marriage.
- Open Group Marriage: A group of individuals who describe themselves as married, which may or may not involve all primary partners and is open to outside romantic and/or sexual relationships.
- Open Relationship: A relationship where partners are allowed to have romantic relationships and/or sex with others outside the relationship.
- Partner: A person with whom one has a relationship, often romantic but can be defined differently depending on the people involved.
Polyamory Today
The polyamory community continues to grow as people discover and embrace the joys and challenges of relationships that include multiple intimate relationships. Polyamory is now considered mainstream, with more mainstream organizations offering support and resources for polyamorists. However, there is still debate and misunderstanding about the term polyamory and how it is practiced.
